Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. 'Cept there's no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue.
Abby wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there's that vampire cat Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non . . .
Before you can say "OMG! WTF?" Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby's gay Goth friend Jared, and SF's finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins.
First Line: "The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public."
Random Quote: "Which is just another reason that I need to find the Countess and beg her forgiveness, because my new phone has video and I can't wait to post a clip on my blog of Jody scattering bloody pimp parts all over the Tenderloin. (The Countess has lectured me about respecting myself and how a woman must never sacrifice her dignity to a man unless he gives her jewelry or is a smoking hottie and has a job, so I think there will at least be broken bones and a beating of many colors.)"
Review: It is impossible for me to turn aside a book about an enormous vampire cat stalking San Francisco, turning other kitties into vampires, turning rats and mice into vampires, and all of them chowing down on the homeless population. Add into the mix Abby Normal, Foo Dog, Jared, and the Animals - hapless teenagers serving as the wayward minions of two vampire lovers - and one sad samurai in orange knickerbockers and I'm all set. The homeless guy and former owner of said cat with the sign that reads: I'M HOMELESS. MY CAT IS HUGE. - that's bonus.
Rat, cat, and dog, panhandling in Union Square - San Francisco - Image by dionhinchcliffe via FlickrI will admit that after the first few pages of this book I stopped and flipped through to make sure that I wasn't going to have read teen speak throughout the entire book - amusing though it was for a few pages I didn't think I could take it for hundreds. Fortunately that is interspersed with other kinds of language, much of it so funny that I ended up reading portions aloud to my husband and we both laughed until we cried, rolling around on the bed giggling with our cat looking at us like we were out of our minds.
I haven't read the other two books, but I will (and this was great fun even without them). Funny, well-written, and so spot on about the Bay Area that I recognized various characters immediately from my daily BART rides. I couldn't help but think of the Tales of the City series by Armistead Maupin, not because the subject matter is similar, but because both sets of books capture something essential about the Bay Area of their individual times. Read this book!
FTC Disclosure: San Leandro Public Library
Rating: Purple
I'm still trying to get over the WTFness of the plot.
ReplyDeleteI loved this series of books. They are all hilarious. I cannot tell you how much I recommend this writer to people in need of a laugh!
ReplyDelete